Trust
September 2006
Every leader solves problems that impact performance, service and profitability every day. This occurs when people with expertise speak and listen to one another effectively. Unfortunately, the lack of complete trust often interferes with the experts' ability to understand and resolve what's really going on. Time and energy is often wasted when people are reluctant to share their observations, perceptions and frustrations with one another. Improving this culture dynamic will often add more than a few points to your bottom line, providing you the resources to strengthen your organization or expand your contribution to the world. And it makes your work a whole lot more satisfying!
Trust occurs when people respectfully tell the truth from a place of self-responsibility and vulnerability. "Here's what I see going on and this is what I see my part of the problem is. I also suggest that this area is your responsibility and you could help resolve this with more of that or less of this. What do you think is going on?" It's a simple conversation that hardly ever happens. Why? People are often defensive and fearful of what might happen if they are "found out" as imperfect or accuse others of not providing what's needed. We don't trust that we can tell the truth, so we spend enormous energy in side conversations that eventually decay our organizational culture.
The alternative, of course, is to test out what happens when we tell the truth. Here are some ideas to make it safe:
- State what happened without judgment or interpretation.
- State your feelings without blame.
- Acknowledge your own part of the problem and allow others to add their perspective on your part.
- Let people know what you consider their part of the problem and ask them to add their perspective on their part.
- Continue to listen and engage in the dialogue until there is agreement about what the real problem is and what the best solution is.
- Acknowledge people for having a responsible, mature approach to problem solving. Let them know you trust them to implement the solution.
- Repeat as needed until you have the trust you need to address everything that is impacting your performance, service and profitability.
But what if I do this and I lose my job or someone gets upset and leaves? This opens up the core issue. Can I trust the universe if I tell the truth with an open heart? When asked to suggest the most important question we could answer, Albert Einstein once said, "Is the universe friendly or not?" We believe this is a lifelong question for most of us. On one level we want to trust that we can operate successfully from our highest character values, and that our conscience will guide us to happiness. But on another level we see a lot of seemingly bad things happen to good people. To understand this dilemma more deeply we have to consider a principle that is difficult to swallow: everything that happens in our life is for our ultimate good. All of it – the good, the bad and the ugly. When nasty things occur in our lives our immediate reaction is, "This shouldn't be happening or I don't want this!" However, if you allow these ugly moments to highlight that you need to grow because something is missing (not wrong!), you can turn inside to your experience of inner resolve and find the patience, perspective, courage or resilience you need. The wisdom is always there to get us through the toughest situations if we remember to look inside. You've done it many times in your career. Losing your job could be exactly what you need to advance your career – but it requires learning and trusting that the universe is friendly and you have nothing to be afraid of, really. Allowing yourself to trust the truth and trust the outcomes that occur when you take the high road is the most important lesson of leadership. It will set you free to make your full contribution, but you'll have to answer Einstein's question for yourself – one problem at a time. The practice we recommend to deepen your ability to find this trust is the remembrance. It's simple, powerful, profound, and paradoxically – requires a bit of trust! If you'd like to explore these ideas further please email us or contact our office at 503-632-8572. The universe is waiting for you to use your time and energy more wisely.